Lord be my guide. My priorities, needs and wants are not first in my life. Help me find the quiet time each day, so that I may be restored and refreshed. Lead me through my day, so that I may live a God- paced life.
Tho life as a mom is hard. Tho I may feel like I am in this all alone. I will not fear, be weary, nor grow tired. For you are my provider, my strength, and my rock. This comforts me. Tho I may not be well with all of my circumstances, I am well within my soul. You have prepared this day and my future before me. You have given me all that I need to live the way you want me to.
As a mom and wife you have given me more than enough! I am able to give back to you, my husband, my children, and still have enough for me. Thank you Jesus for your love and grace that is given to me each day of my life. I will abide in you simply and purely forever. Amen
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11
When I was a new mom (23 years ago), I was nothing else. I dove head first into a puddle. It was painful. When I was a college student (2nd try 2014), it was the reason I breathed. I dove head first into a puddle. It was unbearable. When I became a teacher, you guessed it, I focused solely on my purpose … so I dove head first right into that puddle. And this one was excruciating. (lets pause on this one for a moment)
As I write this, I am becoming fully aware that in most of my big new opportunities in life I make it my number one priority; CNA, retail assistant manager, new wife, World Vision Donor Service Member, Women’s Ministry leader, stay at home mom, columnist writer … each time diving into this tiny little puddle head first and end up burnt out, unsatisfied, and need for change.
(unpause) I thought that when I became a teacher, I would have everything that I ever wanted. I mean I dreamed about teaching since I was four years old! Why wouldn’t everything just make sense? Why wouldn’t all of the puzzle pieces line up? Why wouldn’t the big picture I placed in my head become reality?
As Emily Ley asks us to define the box (all those individual puddles) we’ve created for ourselves, I come to terms with the idea that I was made for more than just a puddle. Literally speaking, I am a beach dweller and am counting the days until I can live on an island. But figuratively speaking, I need more than just a puddle to live in. In fact, if multiple puddles began joining together I could create a place big enough for what God has planned for me to do!
Porretto Beach, Galveston Island
Emily Ley writes, “Never box yourself in. Never allow someone else to define your limits. And always remember, to grow and change, to evolve and become.” If I step out of my puddle and dive into wide open waters … it will not bring me the suffering I experienced in the past. I am not saying that there will not be troubles, without limits I am more than just a wife, just a mom, just a student, just a _________________.
I am a woman, child of God, wife, mom, homebody, teacher, reader, writer, foodie, soon to be islander, Noonday Collection Ambassador (world changer), step-mom, sister, designer, daughter, life-long learner, aunt, crafter, ethical fashion enthusiast, friend, traveler, humanitarian …
Do you suppose, I am a wildflower?
Alice in Wonderland
Are you holding yourself back by staying inside your box? Please share in the comments below.
This God – His way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him.
2 Samuel 22:31
I am a recovering perfectionist. I tend to lean toward the side of things of neat and tidy. I take pleasure at the sight of a straightened up and organized room. As the boys were little, I remember waking each morning and fixing the couch cushions, throw pillows, and blankets that were in disarray from the night before. I recall thinking about how I wish they would pick up after themselves or that I wish I had a firm couch that did not have all the slouchy cushions that needed to be adjusted all-the-time.
I am not exactly sure where this need to always look good came from; but I have a couple ideas. My mother cleaned the entire house daily, at times, she would even vacuum twice a day. Our home was far from perfect. A run down one room farmhouse with a bathroom, inside porch, and dilapidated upstairs. I suppose, keeping it clean made it a less miserable place to be in all day. In addition, I recall my father constantly yelling at me to keep my toys in their places and not have them thrown about the living room/ kitchen area, I can understand now this was due to the lack of space we had.
Over the years, I have let some of this perfection go. I do at times find myself adjusting the firm couch cushions, throw pillows, and blankets. As I do, I am reminded of all of the times I did this when the kids were little… how frustrated I was with the task. If I try hard enough, I can switch that memory to how I got to clean up in the morning after an evening of snuggles and watching movies with my children before we went to bed or how we read stories under a blanket fort. Rather it being a terrible memory of the constant battles with a change of perspective I can lavish in the time we once shared together. I guess it is all about taking joy in the journey.
Are you a perfectionist? Where did it come from? Please share in the comments below.
Just Jeanie Jo 